Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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