my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
