Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
