no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My ass is underappreciated
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
