Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
