i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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