hotel room ftw
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
