Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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