there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
