so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
