I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
