So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
