I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
