what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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