Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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