Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
