i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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