We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
