I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
