he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
