Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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