i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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