New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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