So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
