There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
