I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
