My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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