i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
