After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
