we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Do vagina's smell?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
