I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
