Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
