Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
