OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Randomize
