I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
