I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
