eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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