Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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