I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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