Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
