His pubic hair was longer than his dick
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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