I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
