very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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