Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
