VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
