Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
