love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i came on her dog
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
