There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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