You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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