Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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