$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
