there was a trapeze. enough said
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
