she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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