i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
